Thursday, May 22, 2008
Raising tomato-kids
Here’s an article for those of you who are trying to raise children without spankings and time-outs – relying instead on compassion, patience, questioning, natural consequences and the theory that little people are designed to unleash stormy emotions and make mistakes (and be allowed to learn from them). Writing for mothering.com, Erin Liles compares raising kids naturally (and without lots of external controls imposed by parents) to raising home-grown organic tomatoes. It may be stuff you already know, but if you’re in the throes of deciding how to manage your strong-willed children (and really, aren’t most young children strong-willed at least some of the time?), it’s a nice, reassuring read.
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3 comments:
Thanks for posting this, Annie. I like the tomato analogy -
Even when you KNOW how you want to raise and discipline your children an article like this makes you feel like you are not alone in your quest!
I enjoyed the article. No spanking around here. We do have time-outs just to give the usually sleep-deprived / hungry / over-stimulated kid a break, some time to think over what he or she did without all eyes on him or her. I find it's good for them to step away from the scene and take a deep breath. Then Mom or Dad goes and gives hugs and suggestions.
Time-outs were a disaster for Will. He thought they were funny and wanted to experience them because he doesn't earn them at school. Now, on occasion, I take a time out when I need to get away from Will's behavior. It devastates him to have me lock myself in my bedroom, and after a minute or so we can hug and talk about a solution. I try not to overuse it though -- just when I'm at my wits' end.
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